If Spouse Cheating

Is difficult to accept infidelity in a marriage, but it is not impossible to repair.

Imagine if you find your partner having an affair. Surely there is a sense of profound shock, hurt, betrayed, angry, disappointed, feeling
guilt, jealousy, and certainly all the dreams that had been built with as if it were destroyed in a short time.
Then arose many questions that haunt, like, "What's wrong with me?", "Why did this all happen?", "Do I really know my partner?" And so on. All sense and mind is something that arises naturally in a person who just knew the betrayal spouse. The question is, can a marriage that has been nurtured for so long can be sustained? The answer is 'can' and 'no'.
To answer 'could' if the couple husband and wife involved benarbenar have a desire to improve and maintain the marriage. With that desire, then the pair would engage in open communication about this issue, in order to improve marriage. Not easy, especially for the injured party. But why not make this ordeal to be land to improve themselves, and improve relationships with partners. To answer 'no' if one violates commitments have been made with, or the betrayed spouse can no longer trust their partners and leverage ongoing incident. If you have this, check that your wedding destination, whether that goal was enough
strong to serve as the foundation in berumahtangga, or are in need of revision if they feel the marriage is still important enough to be maintained.

If you want to maintain the integrity of marriage, there are some things you can try, among others:
1 Try to share with the right person, or you believe to be people who will not disturb the atmosphere. If the perceived problem was too heavy, why not try to consult with an expert, like a psychologist or marriage counselor.
2 Communicate feelings, desires, and your mind open together with a desire based on truly to improve the situation. Who knows by this disclosure to be more familiar with your spouse, and vice versa, which makes your relationship more closely.
3 Understand the causes of spouse may be cheating because adultery is an indicator of a larger problem again in a relationship. Try
to conduct self-introspection and improve together.
4 Journey marriage after the affair occurred is no longer easy. However, with the old sheet and close together over a new leaf - who knows - it is a bitter story will strengthen your relationship.

"Caring for Interwoven Love to Stay Intact and Not Fragile "

Marriage is a sacred ritual that binds together two beings to navigate the ship household happy until his death. By reaching for the sacred purpose of marriage there are several things that must be considered by the prospective bride before marriage and even after getting married in order to create a harmonious household, vegas, mawaddah, wa mercy. Happy marriage is usually based on many things. One of them is loyalty to the spouse. People are generally caused by having an affair is not a happy marriage. To find happiness is not found in the households of people tend to look outside of marriage. Infidelity triggers so diverse, but all leads to disharmony husband wife relationship. Because the communication can be hampered, many demands of spouse, lack of attention, or it could be because the affairs of the bed is not satisfactory. Each of the affair have their own motivations and reasons. Motivation is the prime mover. Motivation comes from within oneself because of the needs, desires, aspirations, sense of belonging, a sense of worth, and self-actualization. Excessive motivation and no religion will be guided very dangerous and will be a trigger the emergence of a conflict, in this affair. If the motivation we can quickly detect the things that we do not want to be able to avoid.
In Islam one of the Prophet's call for a marriage is kafaah [sekufu]. Equivalent or Sekufu means my level. This equivalence factors can be seen in terms of education, social status, knowledge, descent, skin color, nationality, religion etc.. The higher the level difference is someone in the marriage, the potential for conflict will be higher. So what is very true that the Prophet disabdakan by equivalence factor is very important.
Conflict is part of the art of life. Conflict we can not avoid because it is natural for humans. Just as the conflict in the household between husband and wife, not one family that never conflicted. Ranging from mild to conflicts which lead to conflict divorce.

There are a few tips for potential conflict in the household can be avoided:
1. Express our love to partner with a caring, understanding, trust, compassion, respect, and others.
2. Make us feel proud to partner and happy at our side.
3. Control yourself from negative traits.
4. Trying to always understand our life partner.
5. Learn to play well in accordance with the circumstances and conditions.
6. Change your routine life change for the whole household.

Conflict we can not avoid as long as we are still alive. The root of most conflicts is a family problem, because the family is accompanying the longest life and has the most intense closeness. Hence the Qur'an reminds us to create a family sakinah. But What if a conflict has occurred in household affairs?
Attitude if one spouse had an affair:
a. Stay calm and brave.
b. Pray that our partner is guided into the right path.
c. Take religion with prayers berjamah, following the joint study, listening to religious television together, and others.
d. Make intimate relationships become important.
e. Be a good listener.
f. Keep in mind that infidelity is zhalim action.

In a hadith, Prophet Muhammad once said that one of the pillars of happiness in the household is the wife / husband is unfaithful. Loyalty to calm the heart and pride. Find the happiness of the doors of noble character. Be a righteous husband and wife because they are shalihah who understands how happy her life partner. Of the two it will be a devoted born anakanak which makes the fruit heart. Thus created household vegas, mawaddah, and mercy

Forbidden Love

Love, may be the biggest and most beautiful gift from God Almighty to mankind and the whole universe. How not, love is the basis of activity of the Creator of the universe and all its contents. Ibn Qayyim al-Jauziyah [1292-1350M] writes, "For love and for love of heaven and earth were created, and the principle embodied beings, for the love of the entire planet and to also supply all the movement reaches its destination and the serial beginning and end. With love, all the souls have reached his hopes and dreams and liberated from all that bothered. "Teachings of Islam did not forbid someone has a passion and desire for love, even encouraged to express and mencurahkannya. This is why in Islam there are laws about marriage as a sacred bond between two beings who love each other. However, the love between two human beings can not stand on their own right. Behind him there is responsibility, loyalty, attention, and respect. Love requires some effort to protect her lover, keeping his good name, and cover the shortage, and even sacrificing for her. A person will never reach true love if you ignore what's behind it. Rumi said
in one verse about love: "You can not reach the roof without completing the steps. When two of a hundred steps away. You step on the roof of the forbidden. "Actual expression of love that would seem obvious when the two lovers who love each other in the frame to continue the marriage. In marriage, a determination to maintain, ready to navigate life with joy and sorrow in the form of love not only the shape of a mere promise, but fought.

Turning Love

There is a worrying symptom associated with divorce cases in Indonesia. Not a few divorces occur because one spouse in a household affair. One of them revealed Abdullah SH, a County Clerk's Religious Sampang, Madura. During
in 2006 until mid 2008 there were recorded 301 couples filed for divorce through the court Religious Sampang regency. Well from a number of lawsuits that have 180 or 60 percent of them because of an affair. The number is somewhat high when compared with the likelihood of divorce cases in Indonesia. Agency Director General Data Religious Courts Supreme Court cites the case of divorce which was decided in 2007 as many as 157,771 cases. Caused by noise factors in the third person as much as 10,444 cases or 6.6 percent. Unfortunately, in Indonesia there has been no study that revealed the cause of a person to do an affair. Is it because of biological reasons, economic, or because other people have found a more attractive [pretty / handsome] from each other now. However, there was a study that could be used as a comparison. The study was conducted in the United States
of a man who had an affair. For 20 years, M Gary Neuman, a wedding consultant, looking for the man and examine their reasons. The result is then documented in a book titled The Truth About Cheating. Given that more than 30 percent of men who were married had an affair and most of the wives do not know. According to the study also revealed that 92% of men who cheated admit that reason is not just a biological factor or insatiable when it comes to sexual relations. So what factors? Apparently more are caused by a lack of emotional connection either. The husband has the need to be appreciated. The man wants what he does for a family get attention and sympathy, that its presence was valued. No other woman ever had more beautiful. Gary says, 88% of men in the study had adulterous couple who are not more interesting than his own wife.

Be careful with Love

M Gary Neuman study also proves that love is not only about the physical. Beauty, beauty, shape, or physical characteristics that no other could ever nourish the seeds of love.
Love is a matter of taste. And suppose it is located in the heart. There are times when love having pairs, and not infrequently also have subsided. Sometimes passionate love, but, at other times turned into hate. That's the characteristic of the heart, the home of love. On that basis, the human heart called 'heart' in the sense of something that could berbolakbalik. The Qur'an suggests the characteristics of the heart when talking about the hatred and hostility. "And not just good and not [also] a crime. Repel better, then suddenly amongst those who have enmity with him [move it] as if it had become a very loyal friend. "[Sura Fushshilat [41]: 34]. Love the husband and wife in the household are also not free from that trait. Therefore, build a lasting household was not enough to love. There are bonds that need to be developed. Tie ropes household Dipper is mawaddah and mercy. From mawaddah and mercy of trust arise. Mawaddah, is tolerance and spirit of the will of vacancies bad. Mawaddah a true form of love. Ibrahim al-Biqa'î explained that the household no longer covered mawaddah comes to mind each to decide the relationship, as is common in the sex. In their hearts filled with emptiness and ugliness terjauhkan of [that might come from her partner]. Born and thought is always surrounded by good feelings. Birth mawaddah not without a struggle. Without the efforts of each partner, it is impossible to create mawaddah covered households. In a marriage there are times when the honeymoon phase is over. Each realized that the marriage does not just only about romantic love. Properties emerge egos previously invisible. Marriage will fail if each of these ego obey. Mawaddah necessary to create tolerance, realize, or acknowledge their respective advantages and disadvantages, and requires patience and leisure
chest to negotiate. Attitude which creates a sense of mutual need, respect for each individual, realizing that no one is perfect. Rahmah is a psychological condition that appears in the liver to always try to bring kindness to his partner and reject all that disturbing and mengeruhkannya. This attitude produces patience, generosity, not easily jealous. Individuals who do not show mercy covered his pride, not for profit for himself, and not easily upset, especially vindictive. He said: "They [your wives] are
clothes for you and you too are their garments. "[Surah al-Baqarah [2]: 187]. Husband and wife need each other as we need to
clothes. Individual protectors of the other flaws that are there to mate naturally. While trust is something given to another party accompanied by a sense of security from the giver because the belief that what is mandated is going well maintained. Wife is a trust for the husband, as well as the husband is the mandate for the wife. Marriage could not have happened if the family especially the parents of the wife or husband does not have confidence that the prospective law was able to provide a sense of security to the child. Marriage is also a message from God Almighty to be maintained. He established the name of God and using his sentence. Because of that, God hates divorce, although it is allowed. «[Priests]


Avoiding Forbidden Love

There are famous phrase: Where does it come in love? From the eyes down to the heart. Indeed, sometimes love comes first because he saw then appeared some interest. Well, if that brings the forbidden love affair also emerged from the eye? ALIF collect opinions from some people [not the one who cheated on] the Internet about the forbidden love of which appear and how to avoid them. Here's a summary of their opinions:

Forbidden love can grow because:

There is no more an attitude of mutual respect between husband and wife. Vent with the opposite sex who are not partners in marriage, began to vent about the job until the problems in the household. Opposite sex friendships that exceeds the proximity to the wife or husband. Opening the memories of old love [which is now not a partner] to try to contact him again.

So as not to fall in love with the forbidden:

Makes a nice family place. Appreciate your partner, and realize that in this world nothing is perfect. Vent where the couple made for any problems encountered. Grateful for all the blessings God has given us and always be patient for all his trials. If you feel bored with your partner, remember the good times before. Be open with your partner each other, not harboring resentment that it was a cause feelings are not satisfied in the future. Introduce the family to the workplace temanteman Avoid late-night work or work outside the office alone with a friend of the opposite type of work on family Inviting reunions with old friends, or the hobby channel activity.

Love God Save Joseph as the Actions Disobedience

Since the Prophet Joseph as living in Egypt, he maintained well by Zulaikha and her husband.In the family, as Joseph was treated as slaves, but as their children alone.

Day after day changed. Yusuf grew into an attractive young man, beautiful looks, clear eyes, and pekertinya polite. No wonder appeared sympathy in the hearts Zulaikha. When first looking Zulaikha Joseph as a teenager, this view has changed. One time when Zulaikha eminta Joseph took a glass of water for him, he said, "Joseph, endekatlah! Why are you away? Sit down beside me. "Then, without realizing Zulaikha, growing the seeds of love to Joseph as. Every day the greater love. He also added bold. Not only subtle cues that ditampakkannya now. His movements were also becoming clearly demonstrates that. Even more-so because it became as Joseph pretended not to understand or take his eyes and talk. One time, when the unstoppable love again, Zulaikha plan to be alone with Joseph, as in a room in his house. For that, he love to God Save the Joseph as of Deeds Maksiat Since the Prophet Joseph as living in Egypt, he maintained well by Zulaikha and her husband. In the family, Joseph was treated as a slave, but as their own children. prepare by dressing
as possible. When he was in the room with Joseph as he closed the meeting and the veil pintupintu-tabirnya. Then he said hopefully, and flirting, "Come over here, perform what I tell you!" Seduction of Joseph berkalikali as done, even with force. If Joseph as his own whims and desires, he must do what you want Zulaikha. Joseph was a man like most men, who have an interest in women. Moreover Zulaikha is a beautiful woman. However, Joseph's love for God as much bigger than that. Love is always in an intimate relationship with Him through remembrance. He did not indulge Zulaikha for illicit acts, then he asks Allah for protection despite the temptation. God grant the prayers and sincerity as Joseph. Although must feel the sentence in prison first, but eventually the truth was revealed. Prophet Joseph as free from the vile accusations. «[Priests]

what is love?

Love is a feeling you want to share with, or a feeling of affection for someone. Another opinion, love is an action / activity conducted on human beings against another object, of self-sacrifice, empathy, attention, give love, help, follow the words, followed, obedient, and willing to do any desired object.

Affection or also known as (psychological term affection [1]) is literally a kind of mental status caused by external influences.

This term in English is often used to describe the relationship between two people (or more) is more than just a sense of sympathy or friendship.