Forbidden Love

Love, may be the biggest and most beautiful gift from God Almighty to mankind and the whole universe. How not, love is the basis of activity of the Creator of the universe and all its contents. Ibn Qayyim al-Jauziyah [1292-1350M] writes, "For love and for love of heaven and earth were created, and the principle embodied beings, for the love of the entire planet and to also supply all the movement reaches its destination and the serial beginning and end. With love, all the souls have reached his hopes and dreams and liberated from all that bothered. "Teachings of Islam did not forbid someone has a passion and desire for love, even encouraged to express and mencurahkannya. This is why in Islam there are laws about marriage as a sacred bond between two beings who love each other. However, the love between two human beings can not stand on their own right. Behind him there is responsibility, loyalty, attention, and respect. Love requires some effort to protect her lover, keeping his good name, and cover the shortage, and even sacrificing for her. A person will never reach true love if you ignore what's behind it. Rumi said
in one verse about love: "You can not reach the roof without completing the steps. When two of a hundred steps away. You step on the roof of the forbidden. "Actual expression of love that would seem obvious when the two lovers who love each other in the frame to continue the marriage. In marriage, a determination to maintain, ready to navigate life with joy and sorrow in the form of love not only the shape of a mere promise, but fought.

Turning Love

There is a worrying symptom associated with divorce cases in Indonesia. Not a few divorces occur because one spouse in a household affair. One of them revealed Abdullah SH, a County Clerk's Religious Sampang, Madura. During
in 2006 until mid 2008 there were recorded 301 couples filed for divorce through the court Religious Sampang regency. Well from a number of lawsuits that have 180 or 60 percent of them because of an affair. The number is somewhat high when compared with the likelihood of divorce cases in Indonesia. Agency Director General Data Religious Courts Supreme Court cites the case of divorce which was decided in 2007 as many as 157,771 cases. Caused by noise factors in the third person as much as 10,444 cases or 6.6 percent. Unfortunately, in Indonesia there has been no study that revealed the cause of a person to do an affair. Is it because of biological reasons, economic, or because other people have found a more attractive [pretty / handsome] from each other now. However, there was a study that could be used as a comparison. The study was conducted in the United States
of a man who had an affair. For 20 years, M Gary Neuman, a wedding consultant, looking for the man and examine their reasons. The result is then documented in a book titled The Truth About Cheating. Given that more than 30 percent of men who were married had an affair and most of the wives do not know. According to the study also revealed that 92% of men who cheated admit that reason is not just a biological factor or insatiable when it comes to sexual relations. So what factors? Apparently more are caused by a lack of emotional connection either. The husband has the need to be appreciated. The man wants what he does for a family get attention and sympathy, that its presence was valued. No other woman ever had more beautiful. Gary says, 88% of men in the study had adulterous couple who are not more interesting than his own wife.

Be careful with Love

M Gary Neuman study also proves that love is not only about the physical. Beauty, beauty, shape, or physical characteristics that no other could ever nourish the seeds of love.
Love is a matter of taste. And suppose it is located in the heart. There are times when love having pairs, and not infrequently also have subsided. Sometimes passionate love, but, at other times turned into hate. That's the characteristic of the heart, the home of love. On that basis, the human heart called 'heart' in the sense of something that could berbolakbalik. The Qur'an suggests the characteristics of the heart when talking about the hatred and hostility. "And not just good and not [also] a crime. Repel better, then suddenly amongst those who have enmity with him [move it] as if it had become a very loyal friend. "[Sura Fushshilat [41]: 34]. Love the husband and wife in the household are also not free from that trait. Therefore, build a lasting household was not enough to love. There are bonds that need to be developed. Tie ropes household Dipper is mawaddah and mercy. From mawaddah and mercy of trust arise. Mawaddah, is tolerance and spirit of the will of vacancies bad. Mawaddah a true form of love. Ibrahim al-Biqa'î explained that the household no longer covered mawaddah comes to mind each to decide the relationship, as is common in the sex. In their hearts filled with emptiness and ugliness terjauhkan of [that might come from her partner]. Born and thought is always surrounded by good feelings. Birth mawaddah not without a struggle. Without the efforts of each partner, it is impossible to create mawaddah covered households. In a marriage there are times when the honeymoon phase is over. Each realized that the marriage does not just only about romantic love. Properties emerge egos previously invisible. Marriage will fail if each of these ego obey. Mawaddah necessary to create tolerance, realize, or acknowledge their respective advantages and disadvantages, and requires patience and leisure
chest to negotiate. Attitude which creates a sense of mutual need, respect for each individual, realizing that no one is perfect. Rahmah is a psychological condition that appears in the liver to always try to bring kindness to his partner and reject all that disturbing and mengeruhkannya. This attitude produces patience, generosity, not easily jealous. Individuals who do not show mercy covered his pride, not for profit for himself, and not easily upset, especially vindictive. He said: "They [your wives] are
clothes for you and you too are their garments. "[Surah al-Baqarah [2]: 187]. Husband and wife need each other as we need to
clothes. Individual protectors of the other flaws that are there to mate naturally. While trust is something given to another party accompanied by a sense of security from the giver because the belief that what is mandated is going well maintained. Wife is a trust for the husband, as well as the husband is the mandate for the wife. Marriage could not have happened if the family especially the parents of the wife or husband does not have confidence that the prospective law was able to provide a sense of security to the child. Marriage is also a message from God Almighty to be maintained. He established the name of God and using his sentence. Because of that, God hates divorce, although it is allowed. «[Priests]


Avoiding Forbidden Love

There are famous phrase: Where does it come in love? From the eyes down to the heart. Indeed, sometimes love comes first because he saw then appeared some interest. Well, if that brings the forbidden love affair also emerged from the eye? ALIF collect opinions from some people [not the one who cheated on] the Internet about the forbidden love of which appear and how to avoid them. Here's a summary of their opinions:

Forbidden love can grow because:

There is no more an attitude of mutual respect between husband and wife. Vent with the opposite sex who are not partners in marriage, began to vent about the job until the problems in the household. Opposite sex friendships that exceeds the proximity to the wife or husband. Opening the memories of old love [which is now not a partner] to try to contact him again.

So as not to fall in love with the forbidden:

Makes a nice family place. Appreciate your partner, and realize that in this world nothing is perfect. Vent where the couple made for any problems encountered. Grateful for all the blessings God has given us and always be patient for all his trials. If you feel bored with your partner, remember the good times before. Be open with your partner each other, not harboring resentment that it was a cause feelings are not satisfied in the future. Introduce the family to the workplace temanteman Avoid late-night work or work outside the office alone with a friend of the opposite type of work on family Inviting reunions with old friends, or the hobby channel activity.